Burn Out…

When relationships begin, they’re fun and exciting. You spend time together doing fun things and when your partner goes home or heads off to work, you get to spend some time on your own reflecting about how much fun you’ve had with that special one. You look forward to seeing each other again with a sense of anticipation and excitement.

All healthy relationships go through periods of highs and lows. When things are running high, everyone’s happy. But when things are at a low point, one or both partners may begin to doubt their feelings.

You may start thinking this person may not be right for you because the feelings just aren’t there today. Perhaps your partner seems distant and preoccupied, and isn’t showing the same level of interest in you today as in previous days.

Burn out can happen simply because you’re both trying to sustain the high-intensity emotions for far too long. Some say that the ‘honeymoon period’ may be over at this point. It could also mean you’re spending all your time in each other’s company with no chance to unwind and enjoy that sense of anticipation until you see each other again. This happens when there are no breaks or time away from each other to miss them, as absence makes the heart grow fonder. The anticipation and excitement that fuels the happiness and joy of the relationship gets stifled when the person is always around.

Many people are guilty of this early in a relationship. They forget to socialize with friends and other people or, otherwise, have periods of time away from their partner which hastens the erosion of feeling the butterflies some get with the hope of seeing their person again soon, and the resultant happy feelings. They give up their usual hobbies and interests so they can spend more time with their newfound love. While it’s fun at first, it can also lead to feeling unfulfilled in other areas of your life.

Just because you’re in a relationship, it’s unrealistic to expect every other area of your life to stop. You also can’t expect your partner to give up friends, hobbies, or interests they had before they met you, unless they’re detrimental to the relationship.

Mending the Rift…

Nobody can feel ecstatically blissful 100% of the time, 24/7/365. It becomes psychologically exhausting to maintain, despite its inherent goodness. So when those lulls or low-patches happen, don’t take it personally. They’re often a sign that you may need to spend some time doing something fun separate from them, and re-energize that independent streak within you.

Not only will it give you and your partner time to miss each other, but you’ll both be doing something you enjoy, which gives you something fun and interesting to talk about when you do see each other again.

Trying to beg your partner for an answer about why he or she is being distant today is likely to push them further away, instead of bringing them closer. Everyone needs a little time alone to recharge and think.  So allow your partner the courtesy of a little time when they need it. They’re more likely to come back with a higher level of eagerness and joy than they had when you both shared the same beautiful and new feelings in the beginning.